Stained
by YamiSnuffles
Summary: Adel Hawke ponders Anders' new look. Short, black coat of doom centric fic, set just before the "Justice" quest.


_Just a short, musing drabble centered around Anders' renegade coat. In my headcanon, he switches to black some time before the Justice quest._

* * *

Cold tile pressed up against Adel's cheek. Her field of vision was mostly dominated by a pair of big, brown mabari eyes. Bodahn had gone out to take care of all the necessary business that Adel either couldn't bother with or had forgotten about. She'd let it all get so bad, it would take the better part of the day for the dwarf to take care of. Sandal and Orana had gone with him, leaving Adel to sprawl, half dressed on the ground with the dog as her only companion. Bodahn had stoked the fire as a final attempt to bring some life into the house while he was gone. It was soothing. There was just something so thoughtlessly simple about it. That was a hard feeling to find these days. Not that her life had ever been especially simple, but Kirkwall had a way of making a lifetime on the run with her apostate family seem positively idyllic.

The hard floor pushed uncomfortably on her hip but she clung to the moment a bit longer. Looming dark above her at the very corner of her eye was the estate's newest bit of sculpture. Where she might like to take a bit of time now and then to not think, it seemed Anders did nothing but these days. He had even abandoned his manifesto to some forgotten corner of the desk in the bedroom. Instead of writing, talking- _anything-_ he stood and thought, sometimes for hours on end.

King whined. Adel ran a lazy hand over his blocky head and his stubby tail wagged enthusiastically. She appreciated the effort, but King was no better at drawing her out of her thoughts than she was with Anders. Instead, she rolled onto her back to ease the pressure on her hip and get a better look at the balcony.

She had told him years ago to hire a tailor to refresh that old coat of his. She'd thought maybe he would be more comfortable living in Hightown that way. He'd always shrugged it off. Like her, nothing could make living in the Estate feel quite right. And he wasn't vain anymore, he'd say. Not like before. That story ended like all the others- with Justice.

It seemed he'd finally taken her suggestion, though she doubted vanity had anything to do with it. For that matter, she wasn't even sure he'd gone to a tailor. The major change had come in the choice of color. Black all around, from pauldrons to pants. It would be simple enough work to dye the fabric. Beyond that, Anders more than knew his way around a needle and thread. The biggest puzzle were the raven feathers. She didn't think anyone sold them and wasn't eager to consider the alternative. After all, the skies around the Chantry and the Keep had been unusually quiet recently.

She could remember the uncomfortable thud that her heart had given when she'd first seen him in that black coat. She still couldn't quite place why. It certainly couldn't just be the color of the thing. She favored darker colors herself. In fact, if she hadn't known better, she might have suspected he'd made the change to match the gleaming black and gold armor that she'd adopted since she settled into her role as Champion. They were, after all, quite the striking pair, each so tall and dark.

No. It was less the coat and more the way he wore it. There was an entirely different air to him now, when compared to his old earth tones.

Adel let her eyes flutter shut. With the sight of Anders burned into her vision and flames flickering against her eyelids, it was a simple thing to conjure a few memories. In green she saw him smiling. It was a smile that could break her heart, both from its rarity and its tragedy. Soft colors with soft edges. Healer. Stains marked him for all to see. They were better that way, out in the open. But in black… a monolith, strong and untouchable. Everything about him was hard lines, from his unyielding posture to the sharp cut of his brow. That tragic smile rarely ghosted across his face any longer. The most obvious sign of life were stony eyes that burned electric blue. Adel could not take her own eyes off of him. Stare as she might, though, those stains were hidden now.

Finally the silence of it all pressed too loudly on Adel's mind. She opened her eyes to look at the man himself instead of the phantoms of her mind. She pushed herself up to a sitting position, ignoring the subtle creak in her bones as she did. She gave King a final pat on the head, and then padded across the room and up the stairs. Anders remained oblivious to the rest of the world outside of his own head. She suddenly felt under dressed standing next to him. She settled for righting the hem of her house coat rather than pulling on heavy armor.

When she wound her fingers through his, Anders tensed further still. The wild look that flashed into his eyes could almost make her believe that he had really been as far away as his gaze was the moment before. Even after all these years, he was so surprised to see her there next to him. Panic shifted to something softer, and he adjusted his position so that his hands encased her own.

"Your support has meant the world to me, love," he murmured. His honey brown eyes danced over her features. There was a smile on his face but it was too tight to be warm. She thought she caught the briefest glint of blue in his eyes but it passed before she could be sure of anything. "Can we talk? Somewhere private."

Adel almost laughed but something in his voice held her back. "There's nowhere more private than here. Everyone's out for the day. Unless you suspect King of being a spy." The mabari huffed his indignation and stalked into the den. "And there you have it. All alone. Just the two of us."

She tried to put a purr into those final words but subtlety was never her strong suit. It sounded about as forced as Anders' laugh. He reclaimed his hands and twisted his fingers like he was wringing a wet towel. "Right. Er…"

There had been days when he could easily have talked her ear off. Whether he was rambling off some tale of his days with the Wardens or ranting against the injustices of the Circle, words came easily to him. When there was silence, it was comfortable. Not so since that coat had made its debut. Adel was sure he still talked just as much, only he kept it all bottled in his head. And the silence was now a strain. It felt like there was something that needed to be said or asked, but she could never find the words. This was worse. Before he even spoke, she knew that what held the words back this time was not brooding thought. She could finally see the stain. Subtlety wasn't his strong suit either.

"I'm going to be trying something, and I thought you'd want to be part of it."


End file.
